It is a dangerous endeavor to try to describe an event or concept that is beyond our words but belongs to the Word. Although I was raised Catholic and come from a devout family, I was not particularly religious until fairly recently. I have made the sign of the cross, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, since I can remember, and yet, I never understood what the Holy Spirit was. As I was preparing for my confirmation, I sought clarity from others on exactly what the Holy Spirit was, even attending a seminar, since my lack of understanding seemed to me a glaring omission. However, even after these attempts, I still did not understand.
The Holy Spirit was integral to my conversion. The person of God is Jesus, and I felt visited by the Holy Spirit for the first time in my life when I realized that I actually love Jesus. This realization itself remains a mystery since it is hard to believe that I, someone of skeptical heart hardened by cynicism and who is far more comfortable in my head than in my heart, could actually love someone I had never met and who had existed until that point as a concept.
It was like standing before a threshold with the only thing preventing me from taking the necessary step to cross it being myself. Instead of fearfully or even consciously crossing it, I just found myself on the other side of it, profoundly altered, slightly disoriented and completely assured all at once. What greeted me on the other side was not God the Father or the Son but the Holy Spirit. Although I have since come to rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance and have a better understanding of it now, it remains, like God himself, powerful and mysterious.
If all of this sounds incomprehensible, that is likely because it is. It is not a relationship of this world. I do not even know how to address the Holy Spirit: he, she, it. It does not matter. What I know is that it will come to me when God deems it to be so. Until then, I hope that my will has been reconciled to his; I pray and wait. Perhaps one day, you and I will find ourselves on the other side of another threshold.
This piece by Bloom (2020) triggered my reflection on the Holy Spirit – https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/receive-the-holy-spirit.
>>https://longinglogos.com/annihilation-is-the-greatest-punishment/<<